Confessions #7: This is It

Written January 22, 2011.

“This is it, Frodo. If I take another step, it’ll be the farthest away from home I’ve ever been.” Poor Samwise Gamgee had never in his life left the Shire, preferring the comforts of the familiar to the world of the unknown. Yet he did take that next step; throughout the rest of the series, he grew in confidence and courage, ultimately saving Middle Earth from the reign of Sauron. Just think what would have happened had he backed out and run back to the Shire. Sam was a creature of habit, yet he overcame his fear of change and took the next step.

God has called me to a radical life of service to the world. Yet am I radical enough to accept it? Maybe I’ll hesitantly put my toe over the line, but when it comes down to it, I am too afraid to plant my foot firmly outside the realm of my comfort zone. This is it; it is time to choose. I have heard the call, but have I the faith to answer? This is it; a decision has to be made. I see the path before me, yet still I hang back at the line. If I take another step now, it’ll be the farthest away from home I’ve ever been.

And I know that, were I to leave, I could never return. After all, no one who puts his hand to the plow and then looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God. It’s all or nothing. Were I to step outside of my self-centeredness to see the need around me, God would destroy the state of mind that I consider home. I would never see things quite the same way; I would never be able to settle comfortably back into a routine of contentment. It sounds ridiculous to admit that fear; after all, isn’t that what I want, to be rid of my pride and selfishness? Well . . . is it?

There is such a paradoxical conflict within me as I dance on the border between two worlds: what I don’t want, I long for; and what I need, I’d rather not have. I would like to explore, but only if I have the option of returning home at the end of the day. I want a safety net; I want a back-up plan. Yet God promises none of this: He simply beckons and says, “Follow me.”

This is it, timid creature of habit. The world is waiting; take the next step.

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Published in: on April 9, 2011 at 3:02 pm  Leave a Comment  
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