so I had this dream…

Sometimes, God sends you those dreams, you know? Where He really needed to show you something that you could only understand by feeling it and experiencing it… experiencing Him. And what He showed me last night was probably the most powerful dream I’ve ever had, and I just wanted to share it with you.

So I had just stepped out of the shower, wrapped in a towel, with wet stringy hair. True to real life, I immediately began to critique and criticize my appearance. Looking down at my feet, I thought, “I really need to paint my toenails.” I tip-toed across the floor to the sink and looked closely in the mirror. “I need to pluck my eyebrows, too…and why am I breaking out? Ugh.” I reached for my makeup bag, scattering dozens of little brushes and containers across the sink.

And then in the mirror, I saw Him behind me. I’m not sure what He looked like, but I knew it was Him. He wrapped His arms around me and held me tight. I caught my breath. It had been so long since I had felt a touch like that, so different from just any guy. There was no hint of inappropriate desire to make me feel uncomfortable. I felt only safe, and in that moment I knew I never wanted anyone but Him, never wanted anyone else to touch me because this was real, this was pure, and every other touch was tacky and cheap in comparison.

I wanted to relax in His arms, but common sense told me it was time to get ready for the day. I wiggled away and reached for my foundation to smooth my complexion and my tube of concealer to take care of the random stress breakout. “Don’t look at me yet,” I laughed, half hoping He wouldn’t obey.

He didn’t, of course. We stared into the mirror together. He gently touched the side of my face. “Are you ashamed of this?” He asked in disbelief. I wasn’t sure how to answer.

He stepped back, hands on my shoulders, looking me over, eyes straying to the smear of blood on my knee where I had nicked myself shaving. He bent down on one knee, tenderly wiping away the welling red droplets. He looked up at me, His tender eyes confused. “You make yourself bleed trying to be beautiful? Don’t you know I bled to make you beautiful?”

Again, I was speechless. He didn’t say anything more, just stood and took me in His arms again — and for perhaps the first time in my life, I let myself be held without worrying, without being afraid, without trying to control anything. I knew, somehow, that I was perfectly understood, perfectly accepted, and perfectly loved.

Published in: on May 7, 2012 at 10:45 pm  Comments (3)  
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3 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Wow. Thank you so much for sharing this. I didn’t know I needed to hear it, but it brought me to tears.

  2. Woah. This took my breath away; especially the part about bleeding. Just….wow.

  3. I know the feeling. I have it happen to me twice and I was awake both times. They weren’t dreams. Yes, about the blood making us beautiful. WOW!

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